Halfway Mark: Screen Hotties of 2010

I blame the heat and nothing good in theaters but for the holdovers from previous weeks (go see Winter's Bone, I Am Love, Toy Story 3 and I Am Love if you haven't. Uh... I Am Love you're required to see twice, apparently -- Freudian typo!) for this week's Towleroad article. After assessing the Andrew Garfield as Spider-Man announcement I obsess over the Year in Screen Hotties (thus far).

Click over!

Since Towleroad is all about the Gay the list is men but since I'm an actressexual and since all the best people are at least bi-curious when it comes to the movies, you know I can't ignore the silver screen sirens. I haven't seen all of these movie but here's an incomplete overview of the year thus far.

The Girlie Show

Jan: Portia Doubleday torments Michael Cera (both of him) in Youth in Revolt. Kristen Bell can't pick a man in When in Rome. Can't pick screenplays either. Niche hotness, GMILF Edition: Helen Mirren wants her man crowing like a cock in The Last Station.

Feb: Amanda Seyfried, Our Lady of Annually Increasing Beauty, stars in Dear John. The Wolfman follows Emily Blunt's scent no matter the consequence; Who wouldn't? Uma Thurman turns men, not just man parts, to stone as Medusa in Percy Jackson.

Mar: Double Team Alert! Amanda Seyfried rocks Julianne Moore's world in more ways than one in Chloe. Plus, Dakota Fanning unleashes her scandalous Cherry Bomb whilst Kristen Stewart works a Bad Reputation in The Runaways. Niche hotness, Macrophile/Microphile division: Mia Wasikowska can't pick a dress size in Alice in Wonderland.

April: Erika Alexander is a boho honey in La Mission. Zoë Saldana holds a hot piece in The Losers. Niche hotness, Gothic division: Christina Ricci gets yet paler (c'est possible?!?) as a perpetually nude corpse in After.Life.

May: Ari Graynor's tongue brings ecstasy, albeit in pill form, to Holy Rollers. Scarlett Johansson wears ringlets and leather for Iron Man 2 and may or may not have speaking lines though no one can recall. Naomie Harris handles the first part of sex & drugs & rock and roll with her usual style. Love the 'fro in that first scene. Niche hotness, The Alex Forrest "I'm Not Going to Be Ignored" New Generations Award to Naomi "seduce & destroy" Watts in Mother and Child.


June: Colin Farrell's little mermaid is full grown Polish beauty Alicja Bachleda in Ondine. Please note how many reviews of Winter's Bone describe Jennifer Lawrence's long tresses and full lips in as much loving detail as her performance, even though the movie is about as far from "sexy" as a movie can be. Marisa Tomei is still working the 'dream girl for losers' track in Cyrus. Can you blame the losers? Tilda Swinton is a prized pale gold Russian collectible in I Am Love. Cameron Diaz in primary colors, yellow bridesmaid, red bikini for Knight and Day. Gina Gershon is a whore! (not a dancer) in Love Ranch... the less said about the rest of the movie, the better.

Which actors and actresses grabbed your eyeballs this year?
It doesn't have to be for, uh, performance reasons.

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April Showers: Miami Vice

In between Michael Mann (Public Enemies) movies I always forget that I really like his work. If you could reach into one of his movies you would be able to feel something... a cold surface maybe, vibrations from a loud noise or a drop of sweat hitting you. He has a real gift for atmosphere and texture. And apparently he has a thing for sex in the shower since two of Miami Vice's three big sexual scenes take place there.

The first shower scene is basically relationship detail. The music is soothing and we're just observing the easy intimacy of co-workers/lovers Naomi Harris's Trudy and Jamie Foxx's Tubbs.


The second shower scene is curious. We've spent several minutes watching Gong Li's Isabella and Colin Farrell's Sonny fall in love/lust (same thing in the movies on account of time is sped up). They've just realized that their relationship is a bad idea. Or maybe they've just decided it's a good idea to vocalize that obvious conclusion. The shower scene following this announcement begins oddly though it follows the same structure as the first shower scene. The man is lost in thought or zoning out, as one sometimes does when the hot water is drumming into one's skin. The woman enters and the intimacy begins. Only this time the music moves into ominous chords as we see Gong Li approaching the shower. She's all blurry like killers are as they approach shower curtains.

She tears open the shower curtain in a rather violent edit. It's the cinematic language of threat. Michael Mann is trying to ratchet up the tension in this dangerous affair (they're violent business partners and Sonny is also an undercover cop and could bring her down) but there's something about the shower entrance that feels little cheap. Like a 'Boo! Gotcha... she's just there for more nookie' red herring.

It probably shouldn't have tipped that threatening. After all, what's threatening about showering with Gong Li or Colin Farrell? Unless you have a heart condition, jump in and grab the soap!


But I love that Michael Mann is determined to keep the audience off balance. This next bit works better. He's been pulling us into the relationship and then suddenly, he's pushing away. The lovers kiss and stare and Isabella whispers something into Sonny's ear. See, we can ogle. We can practically touch the wet tendrils of hair clinging to hot skin but we're not allowed any closer. We're no longer privy to this conversation.

[Come see the new blog. We'll renew this series in April]
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Top Ten: Black Actresses

tuesday top ten. for the listlover in you and the listmaker in me
yes, I'm aware it's thursday

A reader sent me this interesting snippet of Essence's December feature on Hollywood's black actresses and their unique career issues. It's a minefield of a topic and for more reasons than just race. There's also the combustible issues of gender inequality in acting careers (no matter your skin color) and then there's the fun sticks of dynamite I like to call 'Generic Celebrity Entitlement.' (hereafter referred to as GenCelEnt)

To explain. Features on the troubled careers of actors always walk a tightrope between generating valuable discussion of the issues at hand and snarky dismissal along the lines of 'Let me get this straight: You're complaining.' Chances are there are tens of thousands of young actors (of various colors, persuasions and genders) who would trade places with the employed covergirls here: Nia Long, Sanaa Lathan and Gabrielle Union. These three may not have their dream careers but they make their living from acting which automatically puts them in the top 10 percentile of their profession, doesn't it?

Nevertheless, I enjoyed reading this and it is a topic worth hashing out. I also checked out this trailer to a documentary about black actresses called Angels Can't Help But Laugh which I'm already willing to love in the hopes that it will be as richly hilarious and rewatchable as its white girl counterpart Searching For Debra Winger (a must see of the highest order, particularly for actressexuals and folks who enjoy the double edged sword delights of GenCelEnt... 'you're complaining and also: good point')

The topic of black actresses always makes me long for the lean muscle and forcefully clipped dramatic annunciations of one Angela Bassett, who I fell madly in fandom with in the early 90s only to realize that her ascendance was also her finale. How does that happen? The beginning is not the end --that's not how things are supposed to work! She falls into the exact same age and talent bracket as Annette Bening and Holly Hunter and she is nowhere to be seen damn-you-Hollywood! So the following list is dedicated to her. It is not dedicated to Halle Berry who has somehow become the most successful black actress ever despite not being half as interesting as the ones who came before her or many of those struggling to unseat her from her throne. Anyway...

10 Black Actresses I Wish Had Bigger Careers

10 Anika Noni Rose
From her good sportsman participation in the dreadful From Justin to Kelly (my torturous recap) to her outstanding TONY winning 'children are our future' hope in Caroline or Change on Broadway to her chipper girlgroup backup in Dreamgirls, she brings infectious joy to her material.
Soon: The voice of a Disney heroine in Princess and the Frog

<--- 09 Regina King
It perturbs me that I get unwelcome unfunny flashes of Miss Congenality 2 lately when I think of her (I watched it on a plane or something in a fit of buddy comedy masochism? What was I thinking?) but she can't be blamed. When she gets saleable material --like that potent "hit the road Jack" scene in Ray or basically everything about her good natured matchmaker in Year of the Dog, she knows just what to do with it.

08 Naomie Harris
See previous post for Naomie props

---> 07 Hazelle Goodman
I enjoyed her very brief roles in Hannibal (freaky) and Deconstructing Harry (cookie) and I'm always rooting for strong stage personalities to make it in the cinema.

06 April Grace
I know she's made a living with television gigs, hell, in preparing this list I realized that TV has plentiful opportunities for black actresses even if the great roles are still missing. April is even playing "TV Personality" in the upcoming I Am Legend. (oops, typecasting) but after her sensational head-to-head with Tom Cruise in Magnolia (also as a television personality) --not everyone can survive let alone resonate in scenes with megawatt performers-- how is it that no other filmmakers have thought to capitalize on her steel? Are they blind?

05 Tonya Pinkins
You've just seen her as a near divorcee in Enchanted (the one with the sparkly eyes, Enchanted discussion here) but really. That's beneath her. I'll just say this. Her star turn in Caroline or Change on Broadway is among the best performances I've ever seen. In any medium. If some A list director ever handed her a movie version of same, an Oscar nomination would follow. But considering how shabbily Hollywood treats musical talent, I'm sure they'd replace her with someone who can't sing who is already a "name". What a world.

04 Audra McDonald
Another Broadway diva. She's a four time TONY winner. That's right. At the relatively young age of 37 she's in second place for most TONY awards ever. She's like the Kate Winslet of stage (only Kate hasn't won any Oscars yet), racking up nominations consistently while still young. Audra is raising her profile (and presumably bank account) as a regular on Private Practice but it's hard for me not to feel like it's a waste. How will she have time for Broadway? I mean, have you heard her sing? She's not just any actor with musical ability --her vocal and theatrical talents have landed her comparisons to legends like Barbra Streisand. Someone cast her in a musical right now.

03 Gabrielle Union
Sometimes I am in wary awe of her like T-t-t-t-t-orrance was in Bring It On but I should probably see more of her movies. My bad.

02 Viola Davis
How do you have a year like Viola Davis had in 2002 where she gifted audiences with a rich trinity of supporting performances in Antwone Fisher, Far From heaven and Solaris (I gave her a gold medal for this triple triumph) and NOT be swimming in Hollywood offers therafter?

---> 01 Kerry Washington
She rules. That is all. If you read this site regularly you already know of my love (and proprietary claims --I saw her first! I even gave her a prize in 2001)
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